Uh so SFIV is out and all. I got it for the 360, and I didn't have much experience going into it. You see, I had only played Street Fighter a few times before, and I had only practiced here and there to truly try and understand the complexity of the button timing and...

Alright I'm talking out my ass. The truth is, I had zero exposure to the Street Fighter franchise before this. It was a tad before my time. So I didn't go into this game expecting to be a master but in all seriousness, I was at least a little surprised to see myself being ANALLY RAPED within SECONDS of fighting an EASY CPU. I mean, come the fuck on, tough love, SFIV? The first two days of my ownership was spent getting my shit kicked with a tap of Seth's dick! The CPU's are so incredibly precise and have such incredible foresight it's hard to believe Capcom expects anyone who isn't half fucking machine themselves to put up a decent fight.

Three days later, I can make it through the arcade mode with some of the (speedier) characters. I have to exploit a few cheap tactics here and there, but HEY, eye for an eye, SFIV! So I go online and try and fight some real humans, who thankfully AREN'T as precise as a machine obviously, but are a little more eager to Shoryuken me over and over again until I'm dead. It's a fun game, but I have a thing against games that require this much effort to get good at.

It's actually a tad strange when you think about it. I recall Capcom saying that this one was more aimed towards a "casual" audience. I can see it at first glance. Characters, unlockables, challenges and trials, etc etc. All that casual shit that people eat up, but it seems that Capcom, in the midst of all their casual gaming implementation, had forgotten that "← down-left ↓ down-right → up-right ↑ up-left ← down-left ↓ down-right → + All three punch commands" is NOT A FUCKING CASUAL BUTTON COMMAND. I don't suppose it could have been simplistic like the arcade stick, but honestly, three buttons at once? In a casual game? It also doesn't really help that messing up one of these commands (and trust me, doing two quarter circle forwards and all three punch buttons at once during a fight kind of ruins the opportunity) normally uses an entirely different attack. Bah!

I'm sure I'll get used to it once I play enough. I mean, I've won ONE match out of like twenty online, and it was only because the guy was like playing drunk, BUT BUT BUT one day I swear I will get these commands down and rise to experience what I have been told is the coolest fighting game of this generation.

I can't fucking believe you have the unlock the characters, though.